saturn: (Default)
( Jan. 8th, 2007 08:59 pm)

  • The horse wank? Just, no. No, no, no, no, no.

  • My mom is home from the hospital and she's doing exceptionally well. In fact, I think she's going to tear her hair out of boredom long before her 3 weeks of bed rest passes. (I switched my appointment with the genetic counselor to early February so I could attend a meeting at work. That sigh you hear is the relief of a brief reprieve.)

  • I've always worked out but it was sometimes sporadic and, more than anything, I was a cardio girl. Over the past few months, though, I added weight training to my workout and I'm addicted. Trainer!Andrew is teaching me well and tonight I upped my hand weights by 3 pounds each. I'm starting to see definition in my arms that wasn't there before and even my legs are shaping up. I've always been small but I've never been terribly toned and it feels so good to see the results. One of the trainers even walked by and complimented my push-ups. "Impressive," she said. Impressive! I do push-ups and they're impressive!

  • The Indigo Girls are on Ellen tomorrow! Set your DVRs!!

ETA: Happy Jack and Happy Daniel make me even happier. :)
saturn: (Default)
( Oct. 16th, 2006 07:20 pm)
* This here is illustrates one of the many reasons I love Justin. He's not afraid to make fun of himself and he always looks good doing it. (Well, except for the omelet. Yellow tights are rough on even the best of us.)

* [ profile] ghettogreta - Here's the Vanity Fair scan of Jennifer Nettles you requested. The text at the bottom is a little blurry but hopefully the text isn't what you were after.

* My garage door isn't closing correctly and a neighborhood animal ate my pumpkin. I need both a full time maintenance man and a full time gourd sitter.

* My mom's oncologist recommended the radical double mastectomy. It's not a surprise but it feels heavier now that it's real. I'm so proud of my mom for taking proactive measures. She's brave and strong and doesn't need her breasts to continue being either of those things.

* Warren Beatty! He's so reclusive, particularly since he settled into family life, so this week's interview in EW came as a huge surprise! (And a very welcome one, at that.) 25 years after it was released, "Reds" comes to DVD and Beatty is finally doing press on the film. He even participated in a DVD documentary! I may have to override my "No DVD's until the place in FL sells" rule for this one.

Two more article scans and the DVD review. EW gave in a A. I give it a YAY! Hee! )

  • Stargate SG-1 movies coming to DVD! I'm glad to know, at the very least, that the stories will be tied up. (Perhaps Daniel will leave the SGC for a young retail merchant in Michigan. *g*)

  • Linked everywhere, [ profile] glockgal put together a brilliant Tutorial: Drawing Smutty Fanart.

  • DVD's I'm desperate for but will not buy until I only own one home include: House (s2), BSG (s2.5) and SG-1 (s9). My self control is a thing of wonder.

  • I'm sure I'm not the only one who would look at spam labeled "HP scandal lifted veil" and think OotP rather than tech scandal.

  • On cancer and mortgages and other assorted nonsense best saved for a cut tag )

  • I'm part of a four person team working on a Big! Secret! Project! at work. I wish I could talk about it as it fills me with unbridled GLEE and JOY but, alas, I must remain vauge and share my joy cryptically. Glee! Joy!

  • New Criminal Minds tonight!!
Mitch Albom was in our office this week to talk about his new book, For One More Day. It's not a book I plan to read but the concept really got me - just one more day with a parent who died. Just one more day. It wouldn't be enough, not nearly enough, but I've spent far too long wishing for just one more day. Especially now, as an adult.

(That sounds much more depressing than I intend it. After 23 years of wanting that day, I'm nothing if not pragmatic.)

In excellent news, my mother was cleared to visit me Columbus Day weekend. Her white counts have been low so there was concern about her traveling but the doctor cleared her! I can't wait. It's been a year and a half since my mother's come to visit me. In October '05 she was waylaid by Hurricane Wilma and, in January '06, she was beginning all of this nonsense so the visit is a long time coming. Plus, my mom has never, ever been to Michigan. I'm helping her expand her horizons!

Yesterday, as I pulled out of my driveway to go to work, Sally was sitting in the window watching me. When I came home late last night, she was sitting in the same spot. She's so consistent and wonderful. She kills bugs and snuggles with me and is the sweetest little bundle of fur ever.

Oh! So, I'm finally settling into my house and, with that, comes awareness of the bumps in the night. Yesterday morning I woke up to a weird, high pitched whining noise. Rather than assume it was wind as, perhaps, as NORMAL person would do, I was convinced a crazy, injured gun wielding killer was in my living room. I'm not kidding when I say I worked myself into a frenzy. But, 24 hours later in the light of day, I'm pretty convinced it was the wind. Please tell me I'm not the only one thrown by the bumps in the night.
saturn: (Default)
( Jul. 25th, 2006 07:29 pm)

  • Justin's video! Holy shit, I love him. I mean, I really adore that kid man. He's so mature. And very, very hot. Youtube link is here. For anyone who needs the video on their hard drive (as I do), right click/save here for a 31.8mb wmv file. Thanks to timberho for this! (Please comment if you download and feel free to share the file but not the links.)

  • [ profile] military_beta - A new community for writer's with questions about the military. Obviously a great resource for anyone who writes SG-1 and/or SGA and has questions about, uh, military stuff. Other than thigh holsters. Because one look at Sheppard tells us all we need to know about thigh holsters. (Namely, they are good.)

  • Does it blow anyone else's mind that storm systems on Jupiter are larger than Earth?

  • Icewolf's is frustrated with slash is the wholesale appropriation and basic, fundamental changes that slash writers make to characters that aren't theirs. I'd argue that the "appropriation" bit can be applied to fan fiction in general and the "fundamental changes" concern is more an OOC issue than anything else but, mostly, I want to spend my time here arguing in defense of the clear canonical evidence supporting Jack/Daniel. Because that's what's really important.

  • I bought a bike today! Actually, my family bought me a bike as a housewarming gift because I'm not spending money until my home in Florida sells. But I have a mountain bike! It's name is Sheppard and I love it! (I don't actually have it in my possession yet. It was raining when I left the store and I need to put the top down on my car to get it home. But I have a bike!)

  • Tomorrow is my mother's last chemo session. She has the month of August off and then she starts another six weeks of daily radiation in September. But then she's done. Done. Done. Done. DONE. Our family cruise in December will be one hell of a party.

  • Home appraisal is in (for more than I paid!) and, with that, I have the firm loan approval documents. I'm set to close on Monday! Eeeeeeeeee!

  • This is the downer bit of the post. Michigan doesn't have full service gas stations which means, in the dead of winter, I'm going to have to GET OUT OF MY CAR TO PUMP GAS. It's never to early too learn tips and tricks. How do you cold weather folks do it? Is it as terrible as it sounds???

  • SG-1, episode 09x18, beckons!
saturn: (Default)
( Apr. 19th, 2006 08:13 pm)
[ profile] pun wrote a fabulous House/Wilson essay for [ profile] ship_manifesto. It's set up as a patient file and it's spot on. You can find it here.

I also forwarded it on to my mother with the following note: "I found this link. I dare you to read it and not BELIEVE that House & Wilson are destined for each other. (And, um, also that I'm not the only crazy one who thinks so.)"

It's the boldest step I've taken in revealing my on-line life to my mother. I'm not comfortable sharing my actual journal but maybe she's an unknowing slasher and just needs a push in the right direction.

My mom was suppose to start chemo today but her white count was too low so she got a shot to boost production, will get another one tomorrow, and then goes back to try again on Friday (following a procedure to enter a semi-permanent port that will prevent them from hunting for veins each time but will force her to walk around with a port in her chest). I also learned that, once chemo is through in the fall, she needs another round of radiation. This shit is a bitch but you do what you have to do. I only hope that, if I ever face something like this, I can do it with her grace.
Pathology reports confirmed that all three tumors were very aggressive and that's going to drive the rest of my mom's treatment. She finishes her external radiation treatment on Monday and then gears up for a rotation of internal radiation and chemo. The first round of chemo is a cocktail of two drugs and will last 10 weeks followed by a 10 week cycle of a third drug. In between she'll have internal radiation treatments for the uterine cancer. It's a lot and it's a long road but my mother is a rock star. She has an incredible attitude and is just working to accept that this is her reality if she wants to be healthy. We certainly all have her back. I'll admit it's rough, though. I hate seeing her go through this. I hate it. But I'm keeping my eye on the late fall when we can hopefully say that this is all behind her.
saturn: (Default)
( Mar. 8th, 2006 07:35 pm)
It's been a rough few days. My mother's having surgery on Friday followed by the rest of her radiation treatment followed by approximately 6 months of chemo. Right now we have every reason to believe she's going to recover but she has a long road ahead and, to be honest, I'm struggling with it a bit. We all are, though, so I'm letting myself take time to work through this.

But I'm also looking ahead. My sister and I are planning a mini holiday for July! We're going to rent a house in Myrtle Beach and escape together. It gives us something fun to look forward to and is something to talk about beyond the obvious. And I booked a trip home for the weekend of 3/17. It can't come fast enough!

I received a package from a friend today that included the RENT and HP:GoF DVDs. I have a date on Friday night but, beyond that, I plan to stay home all weekend and gorge myself on the rest of BSG S2, HP, and RENT. To say I need to decompress is an understatement.

And I didn't mention it last night but OMG HOUSE! They're so good to us. House & Wilson are a true happy place.
saturn: (Default)
( Mar. 4th, 2006 08:14 pm)
More on my mother... )

Thanks to everyone for your comments and support and thoughts and prayers. It makes a difference.

In an attempt to hide from the day, I'm watching episode after episode after episode of BSG. I'm up to 02x11 and I'm so sad I didn't start sooner so I could have watched the last few episodes of s2 in real time. I also changed my journal layout early this morning before I got the call. I had plans to announce that with bells and whistles and fireworks but, instead, I'll just mention how much I enjoy looking at Starbuck and Apollo as I refresh my friends page.

Tomorrow, at 8:30am, I'm off to Orlando for a three day conference. I'm driving up with co-workers and, while my head's not in the game, I wholeheartedly welcome the distraction.
saturn: (Default)
( Mar. 4th, 2006 01:34 pm)
My mother has breast cancer. I just. FUCK. It's not the uterine cancer - it's completely different brand new 2 for the price of 1 cancer.

I'm angry and I'm sad and I want to go home.
[ profile] withdiamond's post had me thinking about my own "state of fandom." There are a whole bunch of them and I'm at different phases in each.

SGA: SGA is new and shiny and it clicked for me immediately. Not that I actually paid attention when my friends list first started falling but, in August when I decided to give it a shot, I was hooked from the start. Part of it was certainly the desire to latch onto a new SciFi show. (I'm almost through mourning the end of ST:TNG.) But most of it was the fic. I like the show, I love the fic. So many fantastic authors have made these characters exponentially more than what I get from canon. I need one to feed the other but, at this point, I could read SGA fic almost exclusively of other fandoms. SGA also has the added benefit of BDUs and thigh holsters.

HP: I was a fan of the books loooooong before I started reading the fic and participating in fandom. For ages I was convinced that canon was enough and I didn't need any more. Then I read "Tea" and I realized that, while I don't need it, the fic and the fandom certainly adds to the entire experience. Besides, Harry and Snape are destined to overcome their animosity and end up together. ;) Post HBP, I find that I'm less engaged in HP but I think it's just a post book phase. Harry/Snape authors aren't writing the way they were and, while I read a ton of different pairings in the fandom, Snarry is my center. This could all change with the [ profile] snarry_olympics, though!

House: House is an oddity. I'm a mod over at [ profile] house_slash and [ profile] house_notice which involves me in a way I'm not with other fandoms but I've also never actually engaged. I update house_notice and moderate house_slash but, unlike other fandoms, I have friended or sought out other people who focus on the show. With House, the input from my current friends list and the myriad of information I come across for house_notice is more than enough to satisfy me.

CSI: How is it possible that this show was on for almost five full seasons before I ever bother to watch??? It boggles my mind. Why didn't anyone ever tell me? I love this show. I love the cast, I love the dynamics, and I LOVE GIL GRISSOM. I find canon immeasurably satisfying which is fortunate because quality fic is sparse. Though [ profile] csi_flashfic may be the answer to that woe.

BSG: Thanks to netflix I've watched all of s1 and the first two episodes of s2. This show is SO up my alley! From what I've seen, I think SGA will fill my fandom/fic needs but BSG is going to fill the gap left by ST:TNG. The show is engaging and I'm loving all of the twists and turns. Starbuck kicks ass, Apollo is hot, and I can't wait to find out what happens next. I don't know that I actually see myself engaging in BSG fandom beyond my current friends list but, early on, it's safe to say this show carved out its place.

Popslash: I learned invaluable lessons during the time I was actively and highly engaged in the 'Nsync fandom - It's possible to be too engaged. It's possible to have too much access. The vast majority of fandom doesn't really want to know about said access and you're far better off weighing what you share carefully. I was so naive about fandom politics and I made mistakes I'll never make again both in my off-line and on-line lives. I'm also, at this point, far more interested in media fandoms because the primary focus is on the characters rather than the actors who play them. That's a better space for me to reside in. All of that said, I'll alway care about the guys' current happenings. I was too invested and they gave me too much to ever lose interest entirely. And, as Kare pointed out, I also made incredible friends who are the basis of my current on-line life. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Unrelated to all of this, I saw my mom today. She and my step-father went on a 10 day cruise between surgery recovery and her radiation treatments which begin on Tuesday. Since I'm only 90 minutes away from the Ft. Lauderdale port, they decided to stay in FL for an extra night so I could visit. It was a perfectly relaxing day. Just what we all needed. And they gave me my birthday present! I love it! It's exactly what I wanted and it's early! It was tough to say goodbye - I know she's nervous - but the next time we see each other this may actually be behind her.
My mother's oncologist confirmed that the cancer was contained. She'll still need five or six weeks of radiation but news that it didn't spread into her lymphnodes is huge. As with her surgery, I don't think I realized how wound up I was until the tension left my body. Tomorrow is the first time I'll see her since the diagnosis and I'm itching for that hug. It will be even sweeter with this news.

Most decidedly unrelated: I have plans for dinner and drinks tonight with a business colleague which means I may miss CSI. I'm recording the episode but I really don't do well with delayed gratification. Post Grave Danger follow-up! Gil! How can I be expected to wait??? If only it wasn't wildly inappropriate to invite him back to my room to watch.
My mother's out of surgery and in recovery. [insert massive sigh of relief] I don't think I realized just how wound up I was until I heard that the surgery was over. Her doctor expects that she'll be in the hospital until Sunday or Monday and, by Tuesday, we'll have confirmation on the tests their doing on the surrounding area. It's also expected that she'll have five rounds of radiation. But I'm not concerning myself with that right now. Tonight I'm going to have a glass of wine and appreciate that my mother's out of surgery and one step closer to healthy.
saturn: (Default)
( Jan. 8th, 2006 01:28 pm)
Thank you to everyone for the comments and phone calls after my last post. I'm overwhelmed by the support and kindness. It immeasurably helped ease a bad day. If good thoughts and positive thinking have any affect on recovery, my mother's already ahead of the game.

I've been speaking to my family constantly for the past 24 hours and everyone is remaining positive. It's not good news but the CAT scan results are the best we could have hoped for, given the situation, and my mother's strength is unparalleled.

Her surgery is on Thursday and she'll be in the hospital for three or four days. By Tuesday we'll have final confirmation on whether or not it spread (but early indications are very good) and then, once she's healed, she'll follow up with a few rounds of radiation. I'm in NY for work on 1/18 & 1/19 so I'm going to stay up there and visit the weekend of the 20th. I already made plans to go home for vacation from 2/8- 2/12 so I'll see her then, too. It's not the same as being there but I'm going out to buy supplies for a care package that I'll overnight tomorrow. I'm sending one to my step-father, too, since he's going to be by her side through all of this.

Telling my father's family was tough. My mother's known them since high school and they were more upset to hear the news than I expected. I think it was partially for my mom and partially because of the unspoken weight of my dad's death. But, honestly, part of me thinks that there's no way I'll lose my mom, too. Not this young. I know there's no universal rule allowing for only the untimely death of one parent but I feel, deep down, that this is something my mother will endure and survive. I won't even allow myself to entertain other options.

I'm disabling comments because I wanted to share this but I'm ready to try to change focus.
saturn: (Default)
( Jan. 7th, 2006 03:20 pm)
My mother has cancer.

Nothing else beyond that one sentence seems relevant. I keep trying to type something else but I'm hung up on that first sentence. This is surreal.

It's uterine cancer. She's having surgery on Thursday. They don't think it spread but they'll know for certain the Tuesday following the surgery.

I can't believe this is happening. Part of me wants it to sink in already and part of me wants to live in denial until she's better. More than anything, I hate that she has to go through this. I'm so fucking angry. And sad. And scared.


saturn: (Default)


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