*cries*...*cries some more*...

I saw the matinee this afternoon. BB 107.

I cried through at least 1/2 of the show. Seriously cried.

And then I didn't win lottery for tonight. So I cried even harder.

But I got an SRO ticket. So I'm home, hoping to pack a little, before I go back for the evening show.

I got to say goodbye to Dre. We talked for a little while. He told me, "There's no crying in theater" when I started to tear up. I'll miss him, too.

Sebastian is on with Joey tonight.

And my heart is breaking.

I am overwhelmed at how difficult this is.

And do I go to the barricade to say goodbye?

*wipes eyes* *goes to pack*

It's over.

It's over. *sigh*

I'm numb. Or sad. Or something like that. But I'm definitely relieved. Tomorrow I leave for a 7 night cruise and, when I come home, I get my life back.

I'm empty. And nostalgic. And very, very grateful.

When I saw Joey's opening night on August 5th, I never imagined that the journey would take me this far.

At first I was happy to be at the theater. Then, a chicken scratch autograph thrilled me. My first picture actually brought tears to my eyes. And do you remember that first night I went to Suede for the pimps 'n ho's party? Just being there with Joey blew my mind. But last night's encounter in the bar really showed me how far the journey's taken me and, even if I never see him in person again, I am extremely lucky and grateful.

19 performances of RENT: $540
Buying Joey in the auction: $260
Picture with Joey in "Mark" outfit: $40
7 nights at Suede: 7 severe hangovers
A hug, kiss, and conversation from Joey during an unscripted run in at a bar: Priceless

( Joanna & Joey )