I know I've been harassing my friends list and, ocassionally everyone else, with my self-imposed ongoing drama about Suede and Joey and all of the other madness.

Since tonight is Joey's last night hosting Suede, this should be it for the updates. Though, I'm sure I'll find other 'Nsync related drama to harass everyone with.

So, the final decision is that I'm not going. Here's why:

- As I've mentioned, I have a very important meeting tomorrow in Washington, DC. I am taking the train down to DC with the EVP of our company and I have to be at 100%. This is not fun and games. It's business. It's my career. It's real life.

- I highly doubt Joey will miss me. He recognizes me. He says hi and gives me a kiss/hug. We talk briefly when I see him. That truly is incredible and I am extremely grateful. But that doesn't mean he'll notice my absence. I'm just another fan. One who goes to Suede each week and sees RENT a lot. And, if he does notice I'm not there, okay. So be it.

- I have got to move on. Seriously, this journey I've been on for the past few months has been like a dream or, as [livejournal.com profile] chasezsshorty says, a crazy fan fic. Or, as [livejournal.com profile] chasezed has says, my own little 90210. I am incredibly sad that Joey is leaving RENT and that this is coming to an end so I have to start to let go. And now is the time to do it.

But, I will try for lottery tickets on Thursday and Saturday. Because I have to say goodbye and that's part of my closure.

And I have dinner plans with a certain someone tomorrow night. He owes me an autographed demo CD and I want to collect. *g* We'll see if that's for real.

In the end, it's all about perspective. I'm trying to get some.
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