well that was an investment...

[saturn]

** There must have been a better way to get Harry hidden and away from Voldemort than what they did to him. That was horrific. What about a Fidelus? I just can't believe there wasn't another way.

** I saw it coming, I knew it was coming, and it was still terrible. I can't imagine what it was like for anyone who started the story not knowing, especially without White Chocolate to ease the way. The ending was so abrupt and terrible. (Though I wish Harry had left with a "fuck you" rather than an "I'm sorry.")

** Ending aside, I liked Dark Chocolate but that was one broken Harry. At times, it was over the top but I suppose it was all needed for the betrayal at the end.

** I liked the plot of the White Chocolate very much. It was an interesting idea and I'm partial to stories that weave in some kind of magical adventure.

** White Chocolate was so angry. The first 3/4 of the story was just seething. It almost radiated off the page. It worked for me, though. I wanted Harry to seethe, however, I was a bit put off my Snape's erratic emotions.

** Both parts need some more beta work. There were a ton of spelling, coding, and grammatical errors. It distracted me a bit.

** Would it have been too much to ask for a bit more sex at the end of White Chocolate? After that kind of investment, I want some good, hard fucking.

** I liked the addition of the happily ever after epilogue. Often, I wish that we could get a final wrap up and learn how it all works out.

Overall, I liked it but I don't know if that would have been the case if I read Dark Chocolate before White Chocolate was finished. Being able to read both parts at once made a huge difference. I'm sure there's more but that was a whole lot of story.